How do I deal with ancient Anger?

So... My dad has always been a psychological, emotionally, physically and verbally abusive person. Hes been extremely manipulative throughout my entire childhood, pretending to care. Its all been extremely confusing. He cheated on my mother when i was 3 with the babysitter, and they shortly thereafter broke up... after having 4 kids together of course I didn't find out about the cheating part until a few years ago, mom didn't want us to know :P.. anyway, i eventually "ran away" from dads house when I was 18, leaving to Germany for two years. when I returned from Germany, I considered staying with him again, but decided to move out after he threw a suitcase at me because i wanted to go camping with friends for the weekends at the tender age of 20 and *gasp* there were going to be boys there!- boy7s ive known 5 years +...)Ive since maintained minimal contact except for a few visits, here and there, and on each occasion, he did something to me (last time i saw him, he said he'd disown me and all my siblings if we didn't get my mother to sign some paperwork, before that my stepmother accused me of stealing 400 dollars 'that was for rent' and then promptly bought a dvd player with the money when she found it... I'm ranting now, aren't I? Anyway My brother ped away in an awful manner last year, and I had to give a eulogy.. one of the hardest things Ive had to do, but anyway, I pulled things together, filled myself with the love and strength of my brother and delivered. I found out a few days ago, that my father said to my older sister, that I was so fake,I deserved an Oscar for my performance. I actually cried about this. I cant believe hes still lashing out at me after all these years.I don't understand why I'm still so affected by his words.. I want to confront him on this, and not in a letter, but I don't know if I'm just making a mistake... I don't know what I'm seeking, justification? vindication? revenge? I don't know.. Any thoughts?